Here’s an old song with new lyrics for our times…

Last Christmas, I got pissed as a fart
But the very next day, your gran passed away
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll ignore you for someone special

Last Christmas, I got pissed as a fart
But the very next day, your gran passed away (your gran passed away)
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll ignore you for Boris de Pfeffel (that’s me!)

Once bitten and thought I would die
I don’t social distance, did you think I would try?
Tell me, baby, do I make you ill?
Well, it’s been a year, too late for old bill

Donations, I lapped up and spent it
So often I’ve said things, but I’ve never meant it
Now I know what fools you’ve all been
But if you trust me now, I know I’d fool you again

Last Christmas, I got pissed as a fart
But the very next day, your gran passed away
Oh dear, she’s just a statistic
I don’t care, I’m so narcissistic!

Last Christmas, I got pissed as a fart
But the very next day, your gran passed away
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll ignore you for Boris de Pfeffel (that’s me!)

Oh
Oh, oh, baby

A crowded room, friends with red eyes
I hide from the truth and I keep telling lies
My God, I’m not one to rely on
Me? I guess I get bolder with each try on

A disgrace like no other, with contempt in my heart
You could hide under cover but I’ll tear you apart
Ooh, ooh, now I’ve got some real power
I’ll never lose it again

Last Christmas, I got pissed as a fart
But the very next day, your gran passed away (your gran passed away)
This year, to save me from tears
I remember I’m someone special (special)

Last Christmas was only the start
‘Cos time and again, and you won’t know when
This year, too bad you have fears
I know I’m the only one special (special!)

A man like no other with “liar” in my heart
You could run under cover, but I’ll tear you apart
Just wait ‘til next year, I’ll still be right here
I’m planning on something special (special!)
You were warned…